The past little while has been a series of surprises- good and bad and maybe overwhelming precipitations. I like surprises, but more so in the way that I like finding an accordion in mum's closet before Christmas. Even surprises that aren't entirely surprising, but are filled with beautiful words that make you well up. I have realized lately that for someone who finds trouble in reconciling the belief in a sort of religious divinity, I am very blessed. My body is filled with this warmth. It tries to reach my hands but sometimes it does not get there though I wish it would. I am trying.