Great, Great Aunt Sally never married. Aunt Sally never could find a man whom she admired as much as her father. Grand, Grand Nana Mary Shirley went to live with her, for company, and never went back.

Distant Cousin Keri is getting married in September and she had a shower today. It'd been ages and she commented on my height. I last remember her braiding a piece of my hair, putting a little piece of foil and blue and white beads on the end of it
Today, though, everyone just told bad sex jokes and bad marriage jokes. My Great Aunt Ronnie told her to feed him well. My younger sister told her to never shower in the sink (part of the "Recipe for Marriage" game). My mother's always told me to never marry.
We made toilet paper wedding dresses and ogled at lingerie and, well, told more bad sex jokes and funny stories about husbands and how they are all hopeless. There was a pair of boxers with a giant cock printed on the front and a cake dressed up as a bustier.

I think my mother might be right.